Poem of the Week: 10.4.23

"This is Why" by Brenda Cárdenas

Hey, you! I’m taking a break from working with my own work this week as I settle into a new working routine. Work work work! I offer instead—even though some of you have vehemently expressed your lack of desire to read poems that are not mine through this newsletter (thanks! I think)—a poem I’m currently obsessed with.

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THIS IS WHY

by Brenda Cárdenas

At dusk, we pulled and shoved
a patio table beneath cousin's bedroom
window, then yawned a lot as we sat
on the couch with her dad pretending
to nod off to the evening news.
I almost said, "It's been a long day,"
but realized that would be too much
sevventeen-year-old-going-on-fifty
for uncle to believe.

We snuck off to bed where we changed
into patched Levis, Marijuana Pickers
Local No. 13 T-shirts, and Earth shoes.
I slid out the window first, almost toppling
the picnic table with my clumsy landing,
cousin behind me already laughing.
To the park for our weekly search, crossing
fingers that someone had dropped
their bag of weed or flicked their fat joint
when the cops circled for the second time.

Of course, we never found the goods
lying in the grass, but we found friends
with pockets full of other secrets
that we hid beneath our tongues
until they melted. Later, when adults ask,
"Why, why would you be so reckless?"
I describe the ease of pulling myself
back up to the window ledge, gently
tumbling into bed, pulling the blanket
up to my chin as a bluster rustled
dry leaves in the sill. I explain
how I watched three pairs of orange-
and pink-tinged maple leaves swirl
to my feet. How they unwrinkled themselves,
stood up tall, one in each couple bowing
before they raised their hands, touched
fingertips, and began to waltz to Tchaikovsky,
tangerine skirts twirling into yellow. How
elegant the soiree I witnessed at my feet.
"Why would you miss that?" I ask.

This poem is from Cárdenas, Brenda. Trace. Red Hen Press, 2023, p. 78-79. Copyright 2023 by Brenda Cárdenas, All Rights Reserved.

I am illicitly and probably unethically reproducing this poem in admiration and awe for my free lil blogsite in hopes of spreading it; please consider not suing me.

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“This is Why” is a perfect poem in my eyes. Each line its own poem; a story and message so tangible; a voice asking questions I too leave unanswered.

It’s that last stanza especially that grips my heart. What is a remembering of childhood turns into a description of beauty, connectedness, and freed expression—then cut by a question whose subject/speaker is unclear (child or adult?).

I haven’t been able to stop thinking of this poem for a couple weeks now, which led to me buying the book TRACE from which it comes, and now I am immersing myself in even more tenderly tense poems of self and lineage. Highly recommend buying the book and adding to your collection—you won’t regret it.

Lastly, I share where I first encountered the poem: on the podcast “Poetry Unbound” which featured Brenda Cárdenas and a wonderful gloss of the poem by Pádraig Ó Tuama. If you liked the poem, check out the podcast. Those of you who know me personally know that I’m kind of anti-podcast in principle, but of course I make an exception for poetry <3, and thus me recommending a podcast does not come lightly.

I’ll have a fresh poem for you next week. Until then.

This, Ricky