NOTEBOOK POEM #1 (OR “HMM…IS THIS ME ENOUGH FOR YOU???”)
by Ricky Novaes de Oliveira
Process, practice, praxis, poetry.
A lot of p-words get thrown around in the academic world. Peer review, positionality, performance. Not enough please, so many overlapping paths, and everyone gets quiet when you speak out against superficial peace or speak up for people dying outside of the ivory tower.
Personally, I struggle to find the words to say what I mean, even as a Poet. Last week’s poem was a bit more “raw” than my usually polished stuff, and I’m going even deeper into that space this week. Believe it or not, “notebook poetry” is a pretty established form in the inter-literary world. It’s like an intimate journal page that dreams of being philosophy, or a note for future art-making that gets made into the art itself. If you vibe with this kind of writing, I would highly recommend Ban en Banlieue by Bhanu Kapil for a refined rawness that transcends diary toward a dissertation on voice, self, and society.
“Notebook Poem #1 (or “hmm…is this me enough for you???”)” is straight from my notebook. I’m reading GeNtry!fication: or the scene of the crime by Chaun Webster and trying to write like him / through him / about me. Here’s the cover and some pages that inspired this week’s half-poem, half-meditation.
GeNtry!fication is about race/ism, loss of self in colonial capitalism, and the lasting effects of trauma. I think—I still need to finish it and then write a report for my professor. But I’m loving the book so far, and it inspired some spontaneous writing. I’ll say that it makes me nervous to share writing so personal, both due to its content as well as it lack of editing. Whatever. I’m trying to lean into vulnerability in my art and seeing where it will take me. Let me know if any lines resonate.
Performatively, Ricky