Poem of the Week: 7.6.23

Crowdsourcing

Will you help me write a poem?

This week, I’m turning to you. I have an in-progress poem hot off the presses of my fingers, but it’s not set. The idea is there, but it isn’t here yet.

That’s where you come in.

Below, I’m going to leave two versions of the same poem, each in a form slightly different from the other. What I ask of you is to read both versions, consider how each makes you feel and what each makes you think, and then vote in the poll. You down?

Here’s some context first.

I haven’t titled the poem yet (I often do that last when it comes to writing poetry) but a word that is coming to mind is ‘utopia.’ As you may know, utopia refers to a perfect society or an ideal reality that does not exist. This poem is meant to speak to the beauty of the human spirit (progress, hope, trust) in spite of a world that feels impossible to change (chaos, entropy, futility). Maybe you’ll see this idea in the poem below, and I’m hoping to capture it in a form that fits.

Ok? Ok. Let’s do this.

I’m putting the poll first, with the poems down below. I’m sure some other artist would shake their fist at the notion of letting others influence their art, but I’ll rebut that this sounds cool, so whatever, old head.

Which poem do you prefer?

Untitled poem, Version A

Screaming in the driver’s seat is the same as
texting back on the job is the same as
running through the heat is the same as 
an obvious toupée is the same as
gazing from afar is the same as 
a second stick of gum is the same as 
the beach after dark is the same as 
sniffing pixie dust is the same as
street-corner flyers nobody wants are the same as 
a sketchbook is the same as 
as fun as it would be is the same as
wishing you are me is the same as
wishing I am you is the same as 
a few coins in an upside down hat is the same as 
checking, again, the reflection is the same as
sneaking a peek is the same as
another pet is the same as 
donning the uniform is the same as
repainting support beams is the same as
sweeping, same square of sidewalk, is the same as
practicing is the same as 
a buzz cut is the same as 
performing to an empty bar is the same as
under construction is the same as 
a disapproving head is the same as 
binging is the same as 
screen time is the same as
complaining is the same as 
following is the same as 
work, day after day, barely any pay, 
sweating, hurting, smiling through the pain,
always the same is the same as
confessing is the same as
preaching is the same as 
honking is the same as 
an adult magazine is the same as 
digital hearts are the same as
a hopeless romance is the same as
a hopeful heartbreak is the same as 
breaking up to rebuild is the same as
a sad song is the same as 
most jewelry is the same as 
reinventing yourself is the same as
stepping inside is the same as 
closing a door is the same as
putting on slippers is the same as
a baby’s cry is the same as
holding a breath is the same as
letting go is the same as 
the other room, and becoming aware of it.

---

Untitled poem, Version B

Screaming in the driver’s seat = texting back on the job = running through the heat = an obvious toupée = gazing from afar = a second stick of gum = the beach after dark = sniffing pixie dust = street-corner flyers nobody wants = a sketchbook = as fun as it would be = wishing you are me = wishing I am you = a few coins in an upside down hat = checking, again, the reflection = sneaking a peek = another pet = donning the uniform = repainting support beams = sweeping, same square of sidewalk, = practicing = a buzz cut = performing to an empty bar = under construction = a disapproving head = binging = screen time = complaining = following = work, day after day, barely any pay, sweating, hurting, smiling through the pain, always the same = confessing = preaching = honking = an adult magazine = digital hearts = a hopeless romance = a hopeful heartbreak = breaking up to rebuild = a sad song = most jewelry = reinventing yourself = stepping inside = closing a door = putting on slippers = a baby’s cry = holding a breath = letting go = the other room, and becoming aware of it.

---

Same poem, different forms. Vote in the poll!

The poll is open for one week, so I’ll update you soon. Thanks! Until then!

Gleaningly, Ricky

---

Substack has a new AI-generating image search. This is the result for ‘utopia.’